November 9, 2008

November 9, 2008

November 9, 2008

I think I may have finally hit some sort of emotional wall last night, where I was completely unable to deal with anything and just had to go to sleep.  I’ve been interested in this girl for awhile and it’s not going anywhere (which we both agree is for the best) but I’m having a lot of trouble letting it go–which I think is just a factor of wanting some sort of stable thing to focus on in the midst of the scatteredness of my life during this project.  At Randi’s party I very intelligently (following the advice of a friend) decided to start texting her about it and unsurprisingly nothing had changed, which I could not really process properly so I headed over to Stefan’s to go to sleep.  I am absolutely not the kind of person to get all clingy and serious, so on top of everything else I get really frustrated for not acting like myself.  It’s not going to happen again and it wouldn’t even be a big deal if I would just stop bringing it up.

Last night at Randi’s, Alex (Amanda’s friend that I’ve met a few times and saw at the co-op party) kept bringing up how he wants me to stay at his house so he can get me “the most fucked up that I’ve ever been.”  In all honesty that’s kind of terrifying and so maybe it’s a good thing that I don’t see it getting back to him in the next six days… despite him wanting me to introduce him to whoever I happen to be staying with.  It’s nice when people want to be involved with the project though!

I slept nine and a half hours last night, probably the most I have slept in the last three weeks and I feel legitimately great for once.  My experience at Stefan’s was pretty lackluster, as I wasn’t in a very good mood and he was really tired as well.  He showed me where the bathroom and water were and then left me alone in the living room, where I quickly fell asleep after brushing my teeth and sending a few more drunk texts (but at least these weren’t ones that I regret, they were just recounting the ones I did regret to Grace.)  There is a Guinness clock in Stefan’s living room and it has the loudest ticking I have ever heard come from a clock.  My friend Austin called and woke me up in the morning to see if I was going to today’s No On Eight protest, which I am not–as today is my self-imposed mental health / get my shit together day, and I couldn’t fall back asleep because all I could hear was the damn clock… so I got up and left, which is good because I had lunch plans anyways.  On my way out I noticed some sort of frat accoutrement with my friend Brenna’s name on it and I’m kind of curious if Stefan and Brenna are roommates, since he mentioned the girls he lives with were gone for the night.  I intend to find out…

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