Archive for November 5th, 2008

November 5, 2008

November 5, 2008

November 5, 2008

Well now, I’ve had a cup of “awake” tea and two shots of espresso today and am ready to go!  Earlier I talked to some friends about the structure of these entries and it has again been emphasized that I need to go deeper–essentially that I need to present a slightly less summarized version of events and that I can probably cut out most of the who-knows-who as it is kind of just assumed that it will happen since I’m not moving too far out of my social sphere (we’re all students living in the same area with friends in common.)  I reread all the entries with that in mind and can hopefully continue to move toward the best narrative accompaniment to the physical act.  I hadn’t realized how little concrete detail / event I was providing… I will try to adjust accordingly.

I didn’t finish yesterday’s entry until around midnight, so I just took a shower and headed over to Macon’s straight away.  I called first, but no one picked up… I figured she was still out and wasn’t too worried about it because she had told me that she left a key for me (Macon is an art major as well and apparently Stephanie was talking to her about me / the project and asked if I could sleep over after finding out that we knew each other–so it wasn’t like she left a key for a complete stranger.)  No one seemed to be home when I got there, but the couch had a blanket and pillows on it which I figured were for me and so I promptly got into “bed,” leaving the light on so that whoever came home wouldn’t be in the dark with a stranger.  At some point I woke up to someone trying to get in, but after waddling to the door in my sleeping bag I discovered no one was there and figured I had been imagining it or something.  The doorbell rang sometime in the next few minutes (I may have fallen asleep again) and I opened the door to someone who I think introduced herself as Christi and apologized profusely for waking me up… she hesitated at the doorway and was actually so apologetic that I began to wonder if she even lived there or if she was a neighbor who needed something or something.  Turns out she does live there and is really nice, offering to get me anything I needed (including opening the windows for some air.)  My memory is pretty hazy because I had been asleep, but I do remember being convinced that I hadn’t gone to sleep yet and being confused that she was wearing shorts even though it was super cold out.  I declined the window opening (cold!) and I told her that I was confused by the first time she tried the door, immediately becoming incredibly and irrationally worried that she would judge me for being so confused about everything.  The worry stopped me from talking much, but I did mention that I was fine leaving the light on until Macon got back–to which I was then informed that everyone was already home and she was the last one back.  I’m still not really sure if people were there upon my arrival or if I slept through them getting back or what.  She turned off the light for me and for some reason the abruptness of it shocked me even more, but I don’t remember anything beyond the light turning off so I guess I immediately fell back asleep.

In the morning I woke up with my head on their pillow and not my pillow, causing me to quickly check for drool.  Luckily and surprisingly there wasn’t any, which was a big relief; I almost always drool in my sleep and I can almost guarantee that at least one host has noticed it so far.  Besides the usual worries of drooling, talking, etc I now have a new social anxiety when sleeping over–what if my fake tooth breaks!  As of yesterday evening my retainer has become increasingly broken at an alarming rate and I am just hoping that it will last until I can make an orthodontist appointment at home.  My tooth is probably the only thing I am consistently self-conscious of and the first thing that I thought when I noticed it was loose was that it is totally going to break at a stranger’s house.  Anyways, I left early this morning to make it to my class and didn’t see anyone… making this the second time I went all night without ever seeing my host.

The last meals project has caused me to walk to the grocery store one or two times a week and I find myself too busy / unmotivated to go any other time and pick up actual groceries for myself.  This means I barely have any food and am pretty much relying on skipping meals, eating food on campus, eating at friends’, food from my sleepovers, and potstickers.  I say this to explain why I didn’t have breakfast this morning, but have had quite a bit of caffeine–the result of which is some pretty intense (and probably unhealthy) shaking.  Today I am also having a really weird soreness in my lower stomach / hips that I’m going to attribute to this project, because I never actually do anything to merit any muscle soreness.  Maybe it has to do with the couch being a little small?  Sitting has been surprisingly painful, as it hurts whenever I’m sitting and moving my legs… but I’m too fidgety to sit still.  Ugh.

Numerous people have been asking for written participant responses, but I have remained resistant to soliciting such responses or putting them in the main body of the blog.  Anyone can leave comments, but I feel the blog is primarily intended to be a record of my experience.  I am tentatively considering having “response forms” of some kind at the potluck, however, allowing for hand-written accounts from any host who wants to give one.  These would then be a part of the installation.

Rachel Whiteread artist lecture tonight!  If I can’t stay awake through it, I am going to be grumpy.